Best Halloween Jokes and Black Humor, Tips for a Stylish Halloween Look!
// October 9th, 2010 // Halloween, Humor & Jokes, T-Shirt and Clothes tips
Traditional Halloween jokes:
- What did the skeleton say to the vampire?
- You Suck!
- What do ghosts serve for dessert?
- Ice Scream!
- What do you say to a skeleton going on vacation?
- Bone voyage!
- What do you give a skeleton for Valentine’s Day?
- Bone-bones in a heart shaped box.
- What are ghosts’ favorite kind of streets?
- Dead ends!
- Why do ghosts shiver and moan?
- It’s drafty and cold under only one sheet.
- What the headless horseman never suffers from?
- A headache.
- What did the bird say on Halloween?
- Trick or tweet!
- Why does a cemetery have to keep a fence around it?
- Because people are dying to get in.
- Where do vampires keep their money?
- The blood bank!!!
- Who are the were-wolves cousins?
- The what-wolves and when-wolves.
Black humor:
- There was a little-little boy and he was so ugly that nobody ever wanted to play with him. So, his mother had to tie a rissole to him at least as for the house dogs to play with him.
- My mother always taught me to overcome the impossible, she always said: “Now, close your mouth, and eat this soup!”
- Sometimes life is like in a hen house, the goal is – to climb higher, to peck the neighbor and to shit on the lower one.
- The funeral ceremony of the Coca-Cola General Director will be held under the slogan “Look under the cap!”
- When did the English judges started to wear black garments?
- They put it in mourning for Queen Victoria.
- And why do they wear it until now?
- But she’s still dead!
- The cannibals say that if cooking the man while he’s still alive, than for some time he can stir himself by himself.
- Here’s a good one for the “doctors, medicine, hospitals” episodes lovers: The operating room. The doctor, whistling, with sweeping gestures is operating with a scalpel. Stunned, the assistant looks at his actions and asks finally:
- Are you sure that this operation requires the removal of the spleen, stomach and kidneys?
- What? This is an operation? I thought – it was an autopsy…
- All my life I’ve been terrorized by my twin brother. We were always confused, but not in my favor – he was naughty, but I got always slapped, he received sweets for himself and for myself! And just recently I have avenged him all at once – I got dead, but he got buried!
- Generally, work should be approached with a sense of humor, said the executioner, chopping the head into slices!
trick_or_treat_axe
- Hello, Santa! Here is the thing – good you brought the bag…We must hide the body …
- The tomato rode, the tomato fell, the blood flowed…
The lesson of God’s law:
- Now Jimmy, tell us how a boy should be to get to heaven?
- Dead, Sir. . .
- Crematorium worker sneezed at work and now he doesn’t know who is where …
- She told me yesterday that she wants to be a CyberGoth
- Oh, so she will infernally code on dead programming languages?
- No, she’ll talk about improperly closed applications, about the philosophical sense of the command “kill” and about what feelings the program experiences on SIG_KILL …
- Yeah, right.
- And she will boot POSIX…and is there life after sig_kill?
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